Paradigm of Dreams
by Kimiko Otakuwa
Summary: Kathy is regular girl. At least, on the outside. But every night she dreams of another world, of another place. A place called Forks, Washington. There she is Bella. Or at least, she is observing the books as if she were Bella. Then everything changes...
1. Author's Note

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Hello, readers! Welcome to Paradigm of Dreams.

I do not have the most, or best, experience with writing fan fictions, so please excuse anything that may or may not be written correctly.

I am trying my hardest to actually _complete_ this particular fan fiction, so if you would offer up reviews, they would be greatly appreciated. I also have a terrible habit of _not_ finishing fan fictions. I think that if you could over positive reviews or advice, that perhaps I can break my cycle and actually complete this fan fiction.

Please be aware that I am only fifteen years old, and therefore my fan fiction will probably not be perfect. In fact, I expect it to have many flaws.

Thank You for reading!

Author – Kimiko Otakuwa


	2. Prologue: The 'Accident'

Welcome to my official story

Welcome to my official story! I decided the final title would be Paradigm of Dreams! If you don't know what 'paradigm' means, it's like a pattern of something. At least, that's what the Online Dictionary said. He-he. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Prologue: The 'Accident'

It started out the same way.

I woke up.

Well, sort of. I 'woke up' in my dream. I didn't panic, I didn't worry… this was how every dream started. Cold arms enveloped me, and a chilled pair of lips pressed to my neck. I knew who did this, of course.

Edward Cullen.

In my dream world he was mine – well, Bella's – fiancé. Still is, since my dreams had slowly been building towards the end of the book. It was obviously the last chapter.

Let me tell you about my dreams. I don't 'dream', I guess. It's more like… seeing the whole storyline of Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse – also my three favorite books in the world – come to life right before my eyes. The best part was that they had been consistent, my imagination making up the parts that weren't mentioned in the books. The worst part was… I didn't control my body. It was me seeing everything… but not me; I was Bella.

And I dreaded the end of this dream. Because once it ended, I knew, then that would be it for Eclipse. If only Breaking Dawn would come sooner…

Enough. This is how my dream continued….

_Edward finished pressing his lips to my neck. I sleepily tried to look up at him, but of course nobody can see right behind himself or herself; instead, I 'mumbled discontentedly, managing to get out something like this. _

_"Iwnnsssrfs…" I meant to say, 'I want to see your face'… but sleepiness was my impediment at the moment. He seemed to understand, though. _

_Next moment, he was on the other side of me, his arms seeming to have not moved with the speed he changed positions. He kissed the top of my head, his eyes concerned. _

_"Bella, I've never seen you in so much pain. Are you sure you did the right thing?"_

_I just nodded into his chest, wanting to be with him. Last night… had been horrible. The hysterics I had suffered because I broke my best friend's heart… It had been terrible. But I had suffered worse. Not that I was going to say that to Edward… I would just remind him of bad times. _

_So I didn't say anything. I just snuggled up to him and let myself be comforted by his presence. We sat there for a moment until I realized that my bladder was a pressing issue. By then, though, I had woken up, so my next words were coherent. _

_"Need a human minute," I said quietly. He let me remove myself from his arms, grab my bag from my desk, and then shower. When I came out, I felt better… physically; but definitely not mentally. _

_Edward was, of course, sitting on my bed. I sat down next to him and put my head against his chest. His arms wrapped around me. Neither of us spoke. _

_After about ten minutes, I said quietly, "I want to go to your house today." I had a plan in mind… but he would know that thanks to the glitch in my brain. "I want to talk to Esme… and Alice." _

_He nodded slowly, and then kissed me gently. _

_From there… the day played out just like the book. We went to the Cullen Manor. I talked to Alice, pretended to accept the wedding plans, pretended I wanted her as my bridesmaid… Pretended until my brain hurt. Then as we went to the meadow and talked, him trying to call 'off' the deal, and me putting it back in motion… _

_As we walked away to talk to Charlie, I woke up. _

For real.

I groaned and turned over in my bed, my head tangled under my pillow. My alarm beeped annoyingly beside me until I turned it off. Sitting up slowly, I sleepily walked to the bathroom, the only one awake in the house at the moment. I heard my dad snoring two doors down, and with disgust I tuned him out.

The morning passed too quickly.

I was watching TV when _he_ came in. My bastard of a father, that is. I ignored him as he examined the room with his tired, hung-over eyes, ignored him as he started to berate me for being a lazy bitch, and ignored him as he finally sauntered out of the room, caving into his desire for beer to take the 'edge' off his hangover.

Finally, I left.

I knew where I was heading. The Library… and the only place where I could escape my life and my father… and the quietest place I had ever known.

That's when it happened.

I started crossing the road. I was having a bit of a discussion with myself, comparing myself to how Bella looked in my dreams when she looked in the mirror, and how I looked. The similarities were stunning. I had the same, straight brown hair and the same pale skin. Or maybe, that was just because since they were still my dreams, I imagined myself in Bella's place. Of course, I didn't believe any of that bullshit, but it's not like I could tell anyone that I was being controlled by my dreams. After finally deciding that it was my imagination that controlled my dreams, I suddenly heard it.

Something like the sound of traffic as it passed by you, but wrong. It was more… direct. As I realized it was heading towards me. I looked up, but it was already too late. I was suddenly face down on he ground, something wet pooling around me, and I was losing consciousness.

The last thing I remembered was that I swear the guy had been smiling just before the truck had run me down…

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I hope you enjoyed the prologue of Paradigm of Dreams! Chapter one is next! Yay!


	3. Chapter One: Thinking I'm Still Dreaming

Welcome to Chapter One of Paradigm of Dreams! By the way, if somebody can accurately describe the word "paradigm" to me, that would be great. I don't want to change the title, but I do want to know more about the word. Enjoy!

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Chapter One: Thinking That I'm Dreaming

The first thing I noticed was that my head was pounding. Well, not exactly – it was absolutely _throbbing_ with pain. It lessened slightly as I lay there, but it didn't go completely away.

Then I opened my eyes.

_I'm in Bella's room,_ I thought, surprised. The room was much too familiar to be anywhere else. As I sat up, I noticed something was different. My eyes widened as I realized what it was. _I'm controlling her body…_ It was a pleasant revelation, but then something else occurred to me.

I shouldn't be dreaming about this at all. I had dreamed the end of Eclipse last night, so now… how? _Wait a moment! I don't remember going to bed… _I thought, starting to grow slightly alarmed, _so how did I end up here?_

The possibilities were disturbing.

I continued to sit there for a moment, trying to remember how I'd fallen asleep, before I suddenly remembered something else.

Edward.

_Shit_, I thought, _I can't let him see me like this!_ Disoriented, confused… they wouldn't make sense to him if I acted that way. I had to act normal. So with the decision made, I grabbed my – it was weird to think of it like that – toiletries and headed into the bathroom. I set down the bag on top of the toilet, and then I turned.

And my heart stopped for a moment before restarting hyper actively.

It was _me._

The eyes, the hair… the body structure; I had never truly thought about it, but having the sense of lucidity I did, I noticed more than ever that I looked like Bella. The odd part was, when I had read the books, I had imagined her to be beautiful, no matter what she had said about looking _ugly_ in comparison to vampires.

I now knew _exactly_ how she felt.

I turned away reluctantly, quickly showering, brushing my hair and teeth and then blow-drying my hair. I smiled wanly to myself; feeling only slightly prepared as the doorbell finally rang. I rushed downstairs, my body reacting automatically even if my brain was protesting, wondering if I was still ready to see him.

As I finally the door, my first reaction was relief and disappointment at the same time.

It was Sam Uley.

My second reaction was confusion.

I could afford to act a little bit off, then. He looked very, very sad and almost piteous. I didn't invite him in, and he didn't make any move to invite himself in. So we talked.

"Sam?" I asked, concerned and confused, my body providing instinctual reactions for the emotions I was having difficulty portraying. "What's wrong?"

He didn't speak for a moment. He just looked down, his expression growing more and more sad and piteous.

"It's Jacob."

The second he said _his_ name, my heart stopped then painfully and quickly restarted, the little chip in my heart throbbing painfully. It took me a moment to respond.

"W-what about Jacob?" I asked, my voice going up an octave at the end. Once again, he was silent for a moment before speaking again.

"He's gone," he said gruffly. "Ran away as a wolf last night." There was something budding in his eyes. With a start, I realized they were tears.

"But… he'll come back if you tell him, right?" I said, my heart thudding painfully.

He shook his head. "As second in command, he can stop the other wolves from interfering. But I told him to come home when he'd calmed down."

I was suddenly angry.

"Why would you tell him that?" I demanded. "He could get hurt out there!"

He looked up, surprised. Then he smiled thinly, almost angrily.

"I'm not worried about his physically," he said, the same strange smile on his face. "It's mentally."

He didn't shake like a less-experienced wolf might have, but his expression suddenly turned angry.

"He's hurting, Bella. And your _Edward_ is partially responsible. He sent a damn wedding invitation to Jake."

I started with surprise. _Alice_, I hissed inwardly. A part of me wondered why I was so concerned, but my body was reacting a lot stronger than I would've thought. So it was with tight lips that I replied.

"I see," I replied tartly. "I'll talk with him about that."

Sam nodded seriously, his posture suddenly turning more business like. "Bella, I heard his thoughts before he ran. He was worried about you… dying… instead of changing." He started to turn away before glancing once more behind him. "Bye," he said shortly, closing the door behind him.

I just stared at the closed door for a moment before I noticed that tears were dripping down my cheeks.

_Why…?_ I thought, feeling stupid. I walked disjointedly to the living room, plopping down on a couch as my crying turned into chest-heaving sobs.

Finally, after the sobs had died down slightly, another thought occurred to me. _Edward… why isn't he here, comforting me?_

I needed him.

I got up shakily, tears still streaming down my face and slightly blurring my vision as I grabbed a jacket and my keys from its hook. My hands shook as I locked up the house behind me, and climbed into my truck.

_If he wont come here… I'll go there_.

It took a lot of effort to keep the sobs from earlier coming back, but it was more helpful in the long run. As I drove, a part of my wondered why I was so concerned anyway. The logical part of me said that since I had pretty much lived Bella's life through my dreams, it was almost my life as well. The stupid, less-thoughtful part of me said was that I cared, whether I wanted to or not.

I agreed with the stupid part of me.

I managed to get to their house without incident, even though I was sorely tempted to let the sobs overtake me and make _him_ find me. I slowly got out of the car, locking up. As I finally reached the porch and knocked, I realized with chagrin my body was shaking.

Carlisle opened the door. His face went from surprised to concerned in a split-second.

And then I passed out.

* * *

I was aware of voices. Blackness seemed to envelope me, and the voices I heard were muted. A slightly more aware part of me thought, _Like the time at the clearing…_ _Jacob… caused this_.

"Carlisle, why didn't you call me?" I heard a voice shout angrily.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know this would happen."

"Why didn't _you_ call me?" The same voice demanded once again. This time, somebody else responded.

"I couldn't see her, so stop biting my head off! He must have stayed there around the house. All I saw was blackness, and we _really _don't want to break the treaty. I know you, Edward. You would've attacked him."

_Edward's here_, I thought, my head starting to break through the surface of the black ocean I was submerged in.

"Besides," Alice responded, "her eyes will open in thirty-two seconds."

I could feel myself halfway out of the water in my mind. As something cold touched my arm, that helped me even more.

My eyes fluttered open.

The first thing I saw was _his_ face; his concerned, beautiful face.

"Edward," I mumbled, staring into his eyes. He bent down, kissing me gently on the lips before pulling me gently into his arms. I responded automatically, wrapping my arms around him as well. I pressed my face against his chest, and sniffled.

"Why?" I whispered, knowing he would hear me. He froze, then relaxed, holding me somewhat tighter to his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said, his voice laced with concern and… something else. Anger. He was angry with himself… as usual. "I was hunting with my brothers. If I had known… I would've come."

"I know…" I said, forgiving him automatically. As the whole thing went on, the part of me that wasn't reacting to the current situation was crying out with happiness as I experienced what it _really_ felt like to be held by him.

It was wonderful.

His hand stroked my hair. He learned down, kissing me gently before holding me back so that he could see me better. He must have not liked what he saw, because his eyes tightened with pain.

As soon as I saw that pain in his face, I suddenly felt angry.

"Why?" I asked again, but more forcefully. "Sam Uley came my house, and you know what he said? He said that Jake ran away because he got a wedding invitation… from you. He said it pushed him over the edge."

His eyes widened with surprise, then guilt.

"And why would you make the invitations without telling me? Plus, you promised you wouldn't send him one!"

Finally, he looked away, his expression doused with guilt. Suddenly, _I _felt guilty. _Aw, crap_… I thought; feeling worse as I realized it was my fault he felt so bad.

He finally turned to look at me, and his eyes widened.

"No, Bella… don't you feel guilty. I made a mistake… And I'm sorry." He pulled me close to his chest again, but this time I moved my head slightly so I could look behind him.

At least the rest of his family wasn't here to see this.

I also realized, with surprise, that I forgave him.

Finally, I looked back at him. I pushed slightly against him, knowing that in truth that I could never move him as a human, but knowing he would feel it and react all the same. When he saw my face the second time, he seemed relieved. As I smiled, he smiled back, even though it didn't reach his eyes.

"So," I said, trying to sound nonchalant, "You made wedding invitations… big deal. I'm just wondering… if you sent them to anyone else." My voice broke on the end, ruining the charade, but at least he responded.

"No," he said. "I… think that we should tell your parents in person, then send out the invitations."

I looked away for a moment before looking back at him.

"And may I _see_ what the invitations look like?" His eyebrows arched up in surprise, then he looked at me with a strange half-smile on his face.

"And what, may I ask, brought this on?"

"Just curious," I responded innocently. He wasn't fooled. In truth, I was _extremely_ curious. I tried to hide it, but it seemed that he could see it in me.

He stood up, and I followed him. He held me hand, leading me into the kitchen. On the counter was a stack of fancy envelopes that didn't fit my style at all. I appraised them, and then snorted.

"Definitely not my style," I muttered under my breath, opening an invitation. The one that I opened was actually addressed to Charlie, plus there was a little note inside of it, addressed to Charlie from Edward.

_Dear Charlie_, it read, _your daughter is the greatest gift ever bestowed upon me. I hope that you realize that I will never, ever leave her. I will always be there for her, through thick and thin. When she needs me, I will always be there for her. I hope that you accept that we truly love each other. Edward._

I looked up at him, a tear dripping down my cheek. He caught it, and looked at me questioningly.

"I don't know if he'll except it…" I said after a minute, "But… what you wrote… it's beautiful."

I smiled up at him, and he smiled back. The next thing I knew he was kissing me on the lips. The envelope was no longer in my hand, so I could only assume he'd put it back. He passionately kissed me for a few moments before he finally pulled away, my favorite smile adorning his face and his eyes sparkling with joy.

"I hoped you would. Alice saw you reading it... and she wasn't sure of your reaction." He pulled me in to his chest.

"But this is definitely the best one," he whispered into my ear, sending chills down my spine. I held him as well, and we silently stood there, our feelings seeming to permeate the air around us.

As he started to pull himself away, I kissed him once more on the lips. He was smiling when we could see each others faces.

"So," he said, still smiling. "What do you want to do today?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I guess… we should tell Charlie. But since he's not home right now, that will have to wait for later. Plus, I'm not sure how he would he react if I told him over the phone." I smiled at the thought, then turned my thoughts elsewhere. "As long as I spend the day with you… I'm open to options." I smiled at him.

And his smile turned slightly mischievous. _Now what?_ I groaned inwardly.

"Bella," he said, almost laughing at he spoke. "I think it's time to get you a car."

_I knew it would be something like that!_ I thought. But all I could do was roll my eyes.

"Great," I said sarcastically, "Car shopping." _While I still have this sense of reality, I might as well enjoy it._ A little part of me said that I wasn't dreaming, but I ignored that.

* * *

_At the Provo Hospital in Utah, ten minutes away from the 'accident'…_

_"Damn it, what do you _mean_ she may not wake up?" _

_"I'm saying," the doctor responded calmly, "that the truck his her very hard. The damage to her head may or may not keep her in a coma. We're monitoring her for any change, so please Mr. Smith, stop yelling at me." _

_I turned away, frustrated. I had never really _hated_ my daughter, but that was probably how it had seemed to her. As I looked over at her, sleeping peacefully yet covered in bandages, I regretted how I had treated her. _

If only I'd been a better father,_ I thought sadly. _Then this may have never happened.

Kathy, _I thought, _If you ever wake up, I _will_ apologize and tell you the truth about you. I have always loved you.

* * *

And thus chapter one ends! The next chapter will be _much_ less serious. As in, I'm going to make a very comical scene with the car. I hope you enjoyed my chapter! Oh, I also hope you liked the little part where I focused on in reality…


	4. Chapter Two: Car Shopping and

Chapter Two!! Woo-hoo! My readers, I hope you are in suspense from chapter one! Just kidding. If you want to ask questions about Paradigm of Dreams, just post a question in a review! Thanks!

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Chapter Two: Car Shopping and Telling Charlie

Edward was ridiculously enthusiastic about buying me a car. I wasn't sure why. What I mean is, if he got me a fast car, I was probably just going to crash it. So when we arrived at the store, and he walked straight up to a sleek, black car, I wondered what made it so special.

Then I recognized it.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Hum…?" he asked, looking up from his admiration. I shuffled my feet a bit before I blurted out the question.

"Isn't this car… the same one the President of the US has?" I looked up from under my eyelashes and smiled.

He looked surprised. "Yes, actually." He looked back towards the car and continued, "It's built for its durability. The President of the US has one in case someone attempts to attack him. It's… very, very strong." He paused unnaturally on the end, and I wondered what he was hiding from me.

But I had agreed to this, so what could I complain?

"Okay," I said, resigned. Mentally I added, _black is so boring!_ I had never really been a car fanatic myself; having had to buy everything with my own money from the age of sixteen, so I had always been stuck with my dad's used truck.

"Well," Edward said, interrupting my train of thought, "I was hoping you would be okay with this car. I have an order online, ready to confirm with my cell phone, to get you a blue one."

_I do like blue_… I thought, but I shrugged. "If it makes you happy…" I said, frowning. He looked at me, and his expression clouded slightly with pain. Suddenly, I was in his arms.

"Bella, I know that you agreed to the wedding and other things, but please don't force this on yourself… If you're not happy, I won't get you a car." He kissed my head before he let me stand back so we could see each other properly.

I sighed, and then smiled. "Edward, if it makes you happy, then it'll make me happy, too." I knew from his expression that he didn't believe me, but he whipped out his cell phone and pressed a button.

No turning back now.

Since we were in Port Angeles, and the car shopping had been much shorter than I'd thought it would be, so we went out to do other things.

As we were driving, something suddenly happened.

I had a vision. Well, not a vision, exactly… but suddenly, I was somewhere else.

_I could barely see. I could feel that my eyes were mostly closed, because what I could see was just a slit. There were bright lights shining above me, and I recognized surgical lights. _How did I get on a surgical table? _I wondered. Around me, I could hear voices. _

_"Are you sure she wont feel any pain?" somebody asked nervously. The next voice was deeper and much calmer._

_"She's in a coma and shows no sign of changing. She won't feel a thing." I realized with a start of surprise that he was talking about me. _I'm in a coma?_ I thought, alarmed._

_I could only watch in horror as they prepared to work on me. They covered my chest with a turquoise paper-like cloth, and put on masks and gloves. The calm man spoke again. _

_"Okay, team," he said. "She damaged her chest and head in the accident. Today we are going to operate on her chest so we can readjust her ribs so they are not in danger of puncturing her lungs and heart. Do you all understand?" _

_I heard a general murmur of consent, and my horror became stronger. _I was in an accident? What _happened _to me? _But I couldn't say or do anything. I felt completely trapped inside my body. I wish I could have screamed as the surgeon leaned over me, a scalpel in one hand a padded white cloth in the other. _

_I knew I was going to feel pain. _

_When he cut into my chest, then I _did_ scream. And once again, suddenly I was elsewhere. _

I was screaming.

"Bella, Bella!" a panicked voice was saying beside me, shaking me. "Bella, what's wrong? Speak to me, Bella!" I took me a while to stop screaming, with Edward speaking to me the whole time, but I finally I stopped, panting. The second I stopped, Edward pulled me into his chest, rubbing comforting circles onto my back. We stayed there before I finally looked up.

We were in an alleyway… and very deep in by the looks of it. I suddenly gasped and pulled away, looking down at my chest. I calmed down when I didn't see any blood, but it almost felt like the cut was still there, throbbing. I stayed there for a moment, not looking up, letting my breathing slow down.

Then I looked up at Edward.

"I saw something," I blurted out unthinkingly. He obviously wasn't expecting that. He stared at me, concern and confusion strong in his expression. It was a moment before he answered.

"Saw what?" He said slowly, enunciating each word carefully.

I looked down, then out of the front. "I was on a surgical table," I confessed, my voice shaking slightly. "Somebody… no, two people were speaking. One was asking if I would feel anything and the other said I wouldn't… because I was in a coma." I turned towards him, and his expression now showed shock. I could feel tears budding in my eyes. "But then, he said that I had chest and head damage… and I was to be operated on. He had the scalpel right over my chest then… then he cut in." By the end, tears were pouring down my cheeks. Without thinking about it, I threw myself into Edward's arms.

"Bella, Bella…" he crooned to me, rubbing my back. "It's okay… nothing happened." But at the same time, it was like I could hear his mind working on what I'd said, probably trying to figure out if I had seen a vision or just had a lapse in sanity…

My voice was distorted by his shirt and my tears as I spoke. "It was horrible… because if felt so real… The pain I felt was terrible…"

I was, technically, accustomed to feeling pain, both in real life and in my dream world. Well, not so much in the dream world… I had only been an observer in the Twilight dreams – as I decided to call them, anyway. I had a double life, in a way.

Suddenly, another epiphany occurred to me. I had had dreams when I was little… dreams about living in Phoenix, Arizona. _No_ _way_… I thought. But as not to alarm Edward, I put it to the back of my mind. I was much calmer as I finally sat up, turning slightly so my head was resting on his shoulder.

We stayed there, him rubbing my arm, and me calming down, thinking about the strange vision I'd had and trying to ignore my epiphany. The sun had gone down and it was pitch black when he spoke.

"Bella, tell me you're okay _before_ I go insane, please."

I jumped slightly at the sudden sound of his voice in the silence, so I waited until my heart returned to its normal rate before I answered.

"I'm fine," I said quietly. "Just… this has never happened to me before; _ever_. So I guess… I'm just a bit shaken, that's all." I looked down as I finished, not believing my words. But I was a bit more of an accomplished liar then the _real_ Bella, so I hoped he believed me.

I looked up. His expression was skeptical, like he had seen through my lie. He didn't say anything about it, just looking thoughtful for a moment. When he finally looked at me – I mean, _really_ look – did he return to his previously concerned state.

"Bella," he said, his tone almost businesslike, "If this happens again, _tell me_." He said, using extra emphasis on the last two words. "If this is somehow a new talent emerging… it will make you more likely to be of interest to the Volturi. For now, we need to keep it a secret and discuss exactly what it is." As he looked into my eyes, it seemed like he was seeing into my soul. I certainly hoped that he couldn't though; because that might mean he would figure out I wasn't really Bella.

I just sat there until he looked away again. I continued to look at his face before he finally turned back to me. His expression almost looked tired, but the most dominant expression was concern... for me.

Then he put his arms around the back of my neck, slowly pulling me in. His hand slid down to my back, and he kissed me gently, soothing my worries. As he pulled away, he smiled reassuringly then quickly kissed me on the forehead.

"Bella," he whispered to me, "Whatever happens, I _will_ protect you from yourself and whatever other threats there may be; _especially_ from yourself." His tone turned lighter at the end. He ruffled my hair, gently saying, "You are a danger magnet, after all."

I rolled my eyes. "Great, thanks for the reminder," I said sarcastically. But his words had done their job. I felt better and hopefully he was reassured by my behavior.

Suddenly, he smiled in the dark.

"We'd better get you home," he said, "We do, after all, have to tell Charlie something _very_ important." He started the car and started to back out. I groaned, and he turned once more to smile at me.

"How could I forget?" I whispered sarcastically under my breath. All Edward did was continue to smile the whole time, even after we left Port Angeles. Oh yes, I was _really_ looking forward to telling Charlie… As if.

Of course, that wasn't the only thing occupying my mind. I wondered how long I controlling Bella lasted, if it continued at all. Of course, a little part of me still said I wasn't dreaming, but I even as I disagreed vehemently, I was starting to worry that the little part of me was right. _I sincerely hope not_, I thought worriedly.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

It _had_ been a long night. I collapsed on my bed, exhausted. Edward had been shooed out for the night… or should I say, threatened out? He would be returning soon, thankfully… but what had happened we told Charlie… He had reacted very… predictably, but then strangely. An apt description, I decided.

As I lay there, the event replayed in my head, as if to torture me.

_Edward had parked on the street as usual, squeezing my hand reassuringly as I opened the door and walked in. As I shut the door, I once again looked down at my hand to make sure that the ring was hidden by Edward's hand over mine. I wasn't going to let Charlie see it unless I could help it. _

_I could hear the TV in the living room from the kitchen, so it was obvious that Charlie was there. I took a deep breath, looking up at Edward. Our eyes met, and he kissed me on the forward, squeezing my hand again. _

_"It'll be fine, Bella. Alice sees Charlie… reacting badly. But at least he's not planning on shooting me." He smiled crookedly, and I rolled my eyes. _

_"It'd probably just ricochet off of you anyway," I muttered sourly. I didn't look up at him as I said this; instead I pulled him towards the living room with me. _

_"Dad," I called, "You in there?" I knew he was, but better start being nice. It might lessen his reaction… by like one-millionth. Suddenly, the sound of the TV cut off. _

_"Bella?" he asked. "What's up? Why don't you come in here?" _

_"Kay, Dad," I said, feeling more nervous by the second. I looked up at Edward, and he nodded. I smiled, and then we walked into the family room. _

_Charlie's eyes tightened a bit as he saw Edward, clenching his fists slightly as he saw our hands together. He saw it every day, but I could see he still didn't accept our relationship. Which, in turn, was going to make telling him about Edward's proposal ever harder to do._

_"So," he said tartly. "Do you need to tell me something?"_

_I was never one for tact. So I instantly regretted it as the words blurted unthinkingly from my lips. _

_"Dad, Edward proposed to me. I agreed, and… we want to get married." I had forgotten to tell him that Edward was here to ask for permission officially, but by the looks of it I probably wasn't going to get a chance to tell him now, anyway. _

_Charlie's face turned redder and redder. He starting shaking, reminding me of a werewolf. I was afraid for his health… after all, he wasn't young anymore. _

_"Dad-"I started after a minute, but was interrupted. _

_"MARRY?" He shouted at the top of the lungs. "I will not permit him to marry you young lady, do you understand me? How dare you even-"But he was interrupted by me this time, my natural teenage instincts kicking in. _

_"You don't understand!" I shouted, tears dripping down my cheeks. "I love him!" Even as I said those words, I knew it was probably my body reacting, not my mind… but I wasn't so sure about that now. "Edward is the most decent, most _caring_ person out there! How dare _you_ even suggest that he isn't! I'm not a child anymore; I can make my own decisions!" _

_That was the breaking point for me. I was on the verge of breaking down, so I knew I needed to end this _now_. "And do you know what?" I said, angry and upset, "He came here to _ask_ you! B-but… you just… you just… YOU JUST PUSH HIM AWAY! He's nice to you every day, and you just push him away all the time!" The tears were running heavily from my eyes. If I had been a vampire, I'm sure Edward's hand would be crushed. _

_Charlie, for once, was at a complete loss for words. _

_"B-but…" he sputtered out. "Bella, please don't do this!" He pleaded with me now, his face still beet red. "Don't make the same mistake I did… don't do it, please." He quieted down a bit, but I really couldn't take it anymore. I turned to Edward, mouthed 'sorry', and ran out the door into the woods. The anger, frustration and sadness made me clumsy though, so I tripped and scraped my hand and knees on the way there. I finally reached a tree stump about twenty feet in, and collapsed on a heap on it, clutching my knees to my chest. _

_Edward came eventually, pulling me to his chest and letting me cry onto his chest, ruining another shirt of his. As I finally quieted down, I waited for the sniffles to stop before I spoke. _

_"Why?" I asked. It was obvious what I was really asking. Why couldn't he have taken it better? Why me? _There was another question hidden behind even that, but I hoped it wasn't obvious. _Why are these emotions so real… so volatile…?_

_"I don't know, love," Edward whispered, answering the two obvious questions – and less obvious third question unwittingly – his voice pained. "He doesn't hate you though. He's blaming it on himself… and on me as well." _

_I growled – just the human approximation, though – through my clenched teeth. "This has_ nothing _to do with you," I said angrily. "You didn't even say anything… and yet… he…." The tears were coming back, so I finished quickly. "He just reacted…"_ Damn emotions! _I thought._ They're pretty much controlling me…

_I turned away from him and with a lot of effort kept my emotions in check. It was hard not just cry myself out on him, though. I made myself calm down. _

_"Bella," Edward said. "Are you okay?" _

_"Fine," I said, exhausted. Another thought occurred to me, "Guess I'd better get back, huh?" I looked up at him, but was surprised by his expression. It was pained. _

_"Edward?" I asked, concerned. He didn't look at me, but his voice was low and broken. _

_"Bella… do you really want to marry me? I know you agreed to get married, by why? Guilt… love… what is it that fuels your actions?" _

_I gasped. _

_"How dare you assume that it's_ guilt _that's making me do this? I thought we agreed that I love you… and for that, I _want _to marry you!" I grabbed his face between my hands, wishing that I was strong enough to keep him there. "Edward, please don't say that! Can't you see I love you, my silly, over protective vampire? How can you not see that? Isn't our love established? How dare you assume such things?" _

_The tears were back in full force, but the expression on Edward's face was amazed. _

_"Bella, I would never doubt that you love me. But why_ marry _me? Compared to becoming a vampire and being with for me for eternity, marriage is hardly what seals two mates together. I know that _you know _I wish to marry you, but_ you? _I'm sorry for doubting you, love." And then he gently placed a kiss on my lips. He helped me up and made sure that I was steady on my feet before we walked back towards the house together. _

_He stopped right in front of the house, and I looked back up at him. I was surprised to see the smile on his face. _

_"What?" I asked, curious. _

_He smiled wider. "He wants to talk to you, but it seems that he's actually planning on shooting me if I set my foot through the door ever again. He sort of threatened me out." _

_"What?" I demanded, "Why would he do that?" _

_He chuckled. "Well, I did proclaim my love for you, but I think I ruined it when I mentioned when we were planning to have the marriage." _

_"When is that?" I asked, curious. _How come they haven't discussed this with me?_ The angry part of me said_. _All he did was smile and wink at me, though. _

_"It's a secret. Alice's idea, sorry, love." He pulled me in with one arm and kissed the top of my head. "Anyway, you'd better get back in there before he goes searching for you with his police cruiser in all its glory. I'm sure you wouldn't like that." _

_"Uh, yeah, you're probably right." The idea of Charlie coming after me, lights flashing, sirens wailings… was more than enough to cow me. A vocal confrontation at home would be much quieter than one involving the cruiser. Suddenly, Edward started to pull away. I grabbed his hand, though, panicking. "What are you doing?" I demanded._

_His eyes widened. "I'm taking my car home so his brain doesn't hemorrhage. I'll be back soon, I promise." He bent down and kissed me once more on the head before he smiled. "Besides, I'll be listening." _

_I groaned, but there was nothing I could do about it. I watched him as he slipped into his car and raced away, and then turned around with a sigh; nothing like confronting your parent with _marriage_ to make your day. _

_I walked back in nonetheless, still cowed by the idea of Charlie searching for me in his cruiser. I walked in the door, my knees shaking slightly. _Great_, I thought, _this better not mean I'm going to pass out.

_The TV wasn't on now, but I still knew Charlie would be waiting in the living room. I walked in, feeling shyer than I had probably ever felt before. Like I'd predicted, he was there waiting for me. His expression was a mix between embarrassment and fury. My heart sunk. _

_"Um, Dad… you want to talk to me?" I asked. My voice was barely loud enough for even me to hear, but apparently, he heard me. He sighed and looked down for a moment. _

_"Yes, I want to talk to you," he said. I was surprised by how_ old_ he sounded, though that made me even more worried. He patted the spot on the couch next to him, and I sat down next to him with a sigh. _

_"So," I started reluctantly, "what do you want to talk to me about?" I subtly put my right hand on top of my left, making sure that the ring was covered. I wasn't exactly ready to tell him that Edward already had a ring on me. Which reminded me of something else, how Alice had said he already had a diamond on me… I still didn't know what it meant, but now I had more important things to think of. _

_"Well," he said, sounding just as reluctant as me, "I want to know _why_ you want to marry… Edward." He spat out Edward's name, obviously having a problem with saying it. My eyes narrowed. _

_"Continue…" I said through tight lips. _

_He looked down, blushing. _Oh no_, I thought, _not more sex talk, I hope…. _But it seemed like I was not going to be spared this time._

_"I wanted to know if you're marrying him because you're… um… pregnant…" I almost didn't hear him say the last word, but that struck a nerve. _

_I blushed furiously. "Dad," I groaned. "I am _not_ pregnant." I didn't add, of course, that Edward is a vampire, frozen the way he was when he was seventeen, and therefore unable to… inseminate me._

_Charlie relaxed, so I knew the worst part was over. "I believe you," he said, looking up. Suddenly, his expression turning pleading, "But please understand, Bella, I want you to be happy. And I think that you're too young to make this decision properly. I made the same decision, and luckily, I got you. But what happened... it can't be undone." He sighed and shook his head sadly. "Please, Bells, don't make my mistake. At least wait a few years."_

He didn't say that he thinks Edwards is the wrong person for me… he just wants me to wait a few years. Great… how do I explain this without mentioning anything forbidden?_ I was in a dilemma. I couldn't tell him the truth, but… It seemed I had no choice but to say something dramatic._

Here goes dramatic! _I thought_. _And with the lie I was about to propagate, I just hoped that Edward could make it become a truth_. "You see, Edward and I were both accepted at Dartmouth… and we both want to attend the upcoming semester… together. And if were married… well, let's just say… No boy will hit on me if I say I'm married."

That sounds pretty good, _I thought, proud of myself. I looked up to see Charlie's reaction. _

_He was stunned. _

_"D-Dartmouth," He gaped. "W-wow… that's pretty heavy stuff…" He rubbed his chin and sighed. "I guess that makes sense… but that's an interesting reason for getting married." He suddenly looked at me, his gaze focused. "I know you're not telling me everything, Bella." He suddenly looked old again. "But I can see that there's no way I can stop you from marrying him…" He sighed. "I still don't accept it, but it seems I have no choice." _

_I was stunned, and somewhat sad. _He said he still doesn't accept it… _I sighed inwardly. _

_"Are you saying," I said slowly, "That… you're going to allow it?" I'd thought for sure that he would try to stop it in every way, shape, and form. Either by shooting Edward, putting a restraining order on him, or sealing me in a room. Something of that sort, anyway… but not like either three would stop Edward. _

_Charlie sighed. "Allow it, yes. But not accept it." He looked up, his eyes suddenly blazing with some sort of passion. "If he ever does anything to you though, I will not allow him to be with you." I was amazed by how passionate he was. I was more used to it now, but before I – well, not me, but Bella – had moved to Forks, I would have never figured Charlie for the overprotective father type. It was actually very scary. _

_I wasn't sure what to do now, though. Call Edward? No, I wasn't sure about how likely Charlie was to change his mood… and I'm sure if I called Edward, that wouldn't make him very happy. Instead, I stood up. _

_"Well, I guess I'll go to bed, then…" I started to turn around, but stopped. "If that's okay." I added quickly. _

_Charlie just shrugged tiredly. "Sure, kiddo. I'm going to head up soon myself, anyway." I was about to head upstairs before one more thought occurred to me. _

_"Oh, and dad…" I started. He looked up at me, his expression wary. "I'm sorry… that it has to be like this." I didn't add that he didn't trust Edward because of what had happened in – it was weird to think of it like the book – New Moon, but there seemed to be no way to change that. "And I hope one day you realize how much we love each other," I added solemnly._

_But to my surprise, he chuckled, even if roughly. "You know what, Bells? I think I _am_ starting to understand… just a little bit, anyway." I felt my eyebrows go up in amazement. _

_"Well, thanks, I guess," I said, still amazed. "Goodnight." I finally turned away and headed up the stairs. _

As I lay there, the night finally catching up with me, I was still, even now, amazed that Charlie seemed to finally understand, even if by a little bit, the relationship between me and Edward. Edward was, after all, my soul mate. Maybe karma would bless Charlie for seeing the truth and bestow upon him a soul mate as well. At least, that's what I was hoping for.

Eventually, Edward came through my window, taking up his usual position snuggled up to me through the blankets so I wouldn't freeze, and hummed my lullaby.

A somewhat comforting and saddening thought was that once I woke up, tonight would be just another Twilight dream. But at the same time, it also might be the last one.

As I fell asleep, I could only think one thing.

_A long night, indeed…_

* * *

Wow! That was a long chapter! I hope you enjoyed Chapter Two of Paradigm of Dreams! I'm waaay too tired to type up another chapter at the moment, since I just back from Hawaii… But I _will _type one tomorrow! Remember, reviews make Kimiko happy!


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